Precious Malita,

i am very excited by our idea to write some letters to each other to reflect and design this idea, you have called „School of Thought“ in one of our chats of the last year. I always appreciate the conversation with you, and this special way of exchanging ideas I like the more. So let me start and develop some thoughts on our theme, in a special focus on motivations and the context of emancipatory ideas, strategies and activities. I am not quite sure we agreed exactly that way but at least it must be very close to our plan.

Assuming my background ideas which made me instantly support this beautiful term I at first have to point at the importance of people having common ideas about the world as it and became the world of today, at the nessecity of common analyses bringing together our diverse experiences. Hence I have to put the invitableness of basic common strategies amongst people, who care about the living, who share the attitude of resistance, struggle, who keep the will to bring about the most nessecary radical change, to create a new world out of the ongoing run, out of the continuesly recreating oppression of humankind through itself. I am not sure wether I really like big words ... would like to believe I am just making my point. Later we will have it much more detailed and less vain ;-)

By this time you know me a little, even a little more than most people in my area who I consider as friends (in the north of Berlin). You know that I am a fanatic or, as you like to put it, a dedicated person. You also know I am a sundays child. Let me use it as metaphor for being born in safety, having been raised up with love, care and in security! I left home with 17, but stayed in the same area, still secure. But ones I finished my school a short time later the THING came out, which settled down as my shadow some years before. Nothing could safe me from the THING, especially not the social system which shaped me. The THING was striking me hard, was shaking me, mixing me up completly, destroying my personality, pressing me down. The THING was the BARE AWARENESS OF LIFE WITHOUT MEANING, of given privileges taken from many others, who were so in need of even a glimpse of what I was supposed to enjoy. Hatred! Hatred against me in the first place, what I was certainly not aware of by this time. Hatred I felt for them, who might be responsible for the worlds disaster, and for my pain. The more I realized that its everybody, the more I began to realize myself. But it took a long time, it took friends supporting me, being more tough in the abscence of insight in what is keeping us, guiding us, forcing us, pleasuring and lulling us. It took a lot of fortunate coincidance and finally a change of perspective, the discovering of many new perspectives making me able to find love again. The THING strike me hard the more I could get rid of responsibilities. The few I had this time even kept me going, although I didnt had the slightest idea whereto. I felt that my hatred cannot guide myself either, it made me crash. Finally I managed to find a way of identification. I made myself a part of those being oppressed. Still aware of my origin I linked myself up with the struggle of the wretched. Having found this selfdetermined meaning of existence I started to recreate myself and to look for activities which could help me turn this devotion into reality. It didnt take long to find some as I was desperatly keen on everything matching that goal even indirectly. Untill today I am trying to improve the quality and effeciency of my engagment, untill today I am trying to create myself. I am really vain and pathetic today, please forgive me ... maybe its the right point to admit that i am also a very lazy and immoral bastard. Looking for effeciency is seriously motivated by laziness. Being immoral is my secret trick to get of fears and trained selfdestruction as well as to make all kinds of people feel bad skillfully referring to their own morals, when it fits the purpose.

I guess many other, maybe thousands or millions have written lines like this using the same words, having had the same or a similar experiences. I am not writing it to show some uniqueness. Its just important to tell you especially as we chose to have a focus on motivations, backgrounds or context. This is my personal background in brief words, as I see it today, when I am not just depressed as it still occurs at times.

A fanatic dedicated person as me will try to explain, why he thinks a school of thought is a central point in giving the world a turn towards life, a turn towards people, before he falls back into bed to sleep for long as he always love to... nope. He prefers to sleep first :-)